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Author: Link_29 Subject: Having a hard time
mattzem
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Posts: 4
Registered: 02-23-2010
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posted on 02-23-2010 at 22:06 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
Having a hard time

I'm 24 and getting divorced after almost 3 years of marrige, I'm having a real hard time dealing with this. I have no one i can talk to, my family is unaware because im afriad of what they might say due to that fact that divorce is highly frowned apon in my family and they pride themselves on not having a single divorce in any part of the family tree. Due to the nature of my marrige and my wife i have no freinds. I'm feeling very alone... I dont know what to do, my ex-wife shamed and embarresed me with her actions during our marrige. I havent told anyone about the things she has done to me nor do i wish for fear of what it says about me. I ahve no way of explaining why im getting divorced. I was contiplating suicide, but thought that maybe getting a divorce would restore my self respect and sanity. It hasnt. I cant afford therapy now due to the finaical situation im in becuase of this divorce. My apartment seems so empty.... I found this site and am posting here in hopes that someone who has been in my shoes can share some HOPE with me.
ty,
matt
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Link_29
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Registered: 01-08-2010
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posted on 02-24-2010 at 09:55 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
Just a couple of tips

It is never easy to start living your life again after a relationship that has lasted for years comes to an end, especially a marriage. That is never a reason to end your life, though; if anything it is a chance, a new beginning, to explore things that you might not have had time to before and to learn things about yourself. You have probably changed a lot since the beginning of your relationship with your wife but haven't separated yourself from that relationship to actually see HOW you have changed. What is most important to you now compared to years ago? How has your personality changed?

I have read that one of the best ways to get through a situation like the one your going through is to try and focus on routines. Your whole life probably feels like it has been turned upside down, but starting up your old routines and creating new ones will help bring order to your daily life, to the NOW. Writing down a list of the tasks you need to accomplish, in order of importance, will help settle your mind and give you more confidence that you are on top of things. Not only will it help you to get things done at a time when the simplest tasks can feel difficult, but it will also keep you out of the house, keep you active, and will help keep your mind away from negative thoughts. Make sure you exercise, eat regularly, and enjoy activities you love.

I would also highly suggest you tell your family about your situation. If you are 100% sure that a divorce is going to happen, you should start building a support group of people who care about you and will help you through the roughest times. Even if it will be difficult to explain your situation at first, they are your family and should support you no matter what. Once they get over the fact that you can live your own life and make your own decisions, they will want to see you make it through the separation with a sound and healthy mind.
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